Current mood:
depressed
depressedI've had this anecdote in my head for the past 5 or 6 years and I suppose it's time to share it. You can say I was spurred on by recent events (i.e. MJ's death) and a certain chapter in Anthony Bourdain's book, Kitchen Confidential (which still manages to depress me). It's all true!
I was at PCC. Classes were over, so I was happily heading home. I was taking the 267 home, but I had to cross a moderately-sized parking lot to get there.
All of a sudden, some girl drives up to me and asks something I wasn't prepared to answer:
"Are you living?"
That took me surprise, and it would be the case for anyone else, so I pretended I misheard and asked her what she said.
"Are you living?"
In my mind, I'm thinking, "Well... of course I'm living. I mean, you're looking right at me." And as far as I knew, I was in the prime of my life and in perfect health. I didn't want to respond immediately because as crazy as that question was, I'd still feel bad about making someone look stupid. It could have just been some variation of "Hello!" or "Great weather we're having, huh?" Perhaps a simple answer of "Yes, and you?" would have sufficed, and she would have driven away happily.
Or maybe she meant "Are you living?" on a deeper level. Perhaps what she was really asking was, "Are you completely satisfied with your life?" Well, I wasn't exactly planning on taking skydiving lessons anytime soon and my future wasn't completely worry-free, but I had a handful of friends and I was sure I still had things to look forward to.
Then again, maybe she was asking "Are you living?" because no matter how I'd respond, she'd say I wasn't really living because I wasn't part of her cult/church. At least if it came to this, a curt "Not interested" would have ended it and that would be that.
At any rate, the clock was ticking, the situation wasn't getting any less awkward, and I had a bus to catch, so I said:
"...No...?"
"No!?" she replies with equal parts anger and confusion.
The walk to the bus stop was a longer that day. No doubt she was still following me around. I tried not to pay attention.
Then on the way home, it finally hit me. She wasn't crazy. I wasn't either. She was just asking what any normal PCC student in a car would ask if he or she spotted any other normal PCC student walking in a parking lot - something that probably gets asked several times during the course of the day in the always-crowded PCC parking lots:
"Are you leaving?"
She wanted my (non-existent) parking space.
I always try extra hard not to be a jerk (probably a side-effect from learning all those honorific forms in Japanese), but when I'm a jerk and didn't even realize it? That's the kind of thing that keeps me up at night.
I was at PCC. Classes were over, so I was happily heading home. I was taking the 267 home, but I had to cross a moderately-sized parking lot to get there.
All of a sudden, some girl drives up to me and asks something I wasn't prepared to answer:
"Are you living?"
That took me surprise, and it would be the case for anyone else, so I pretended I misheard and asked her what she said.
"Are you living?"
In my mind, I'm thinking, "Well... of course I'm living. I mean, you're looking right at me." And as far as I knew, I was in the prime of my life and in perfect health. I didn't want to respond immediately because as crazy as that question was, I'd still feel bad about making someone look stupid. It could have just been some variation of "Hello!" or "Great weather we're having, huh?" Perhaps a simple answer of "Yes, and you?" would have sufficed, and she would have driven away happily.
Or maybe she meant "Are you living?" on a deeper level. Perhaps what she was really asking was, "Are you completely satisfied with your life?" Well, I wasn't exactly planning on taking skydiving lessons anytime soon and my future wasn't completely worry-free, but I had a handful of friends and I was sure I still had things to look forward to.
Then again, maybe she was asking "Are you living?" because no matter how I'd respond, she'd say I wasn't really living because I wasn't part of her cult/church. At least if it came to this, a curt "Not interested" would have ended it and that would be that.
At any rate, the clock was ticking, the situation wasn't getting any less awkward, and I had a bus to catch, so I said:
"...No...?"
"No!?" she replies with equal parts anger and confusion.
The walk to the bus stop was a longer that day. No doubt she was still following me around. I tried not to pay attention.
Then on the way home, it finally hit me. She wasn't crazy. I wasn't either. She was just asking what any normal PCC student in a car would ask if he or she spotted any other normal PCC student walking in a parking lot - something that probably gets asked several times during the course of the day in the always-crowded PCC parking lots:
"Are you leaving?"
She wanted my (non-existent) parking space.
I always try extra hard not to be a jerk (probably a side-effect from learning all those honorific forms in Japanese), but when I'm a jerk and didn't even realize it? That's the kind of thing that keeps me up at night.
contemplative